Two Things
by Shakespeare's Lemonade
Summary: Oliver can't be two people at once. Felicity understands. Tag to 3.12.


Two Things

Shakespeare's Lemonade

Rating: T

Genre: Angst/Romance

Summary: Oliver can't be two people at once. Felicity understands. Tag to 3.12.

A/N: This is set after 3.12. I wanted to give some closure to that final scene in a way that seemed realistic.

* * *

When Felicity comes down the stairs into the Arrow Cave, the lights are already on, and she hears the familiar sound of metal on metal and heavy breathing. It's jarring at first after such a long absence, but she really shouldn't be surprised.

Oliver has almost reached the top of the salmon ladder, but even from the floor, Felicity can see his new scar. She's thought about it before, but seeing where Ra's al Gul's sword nearly killed Oliver is more disconcerting than she would have expected. When Oliver drops to the floor, his body shining with sweat, Felicity realizes she's staring.

Oliver picks up a towel from the table nearest to him and dries off some of the sweat. "I wasn't sure you'd be back," he says. There's a sense of hope and fear in his voice that Felicity doesn't recognize.

"Neither was I," she replies truthfully. "I guess I just needed time to think."

It's been a week since Oliver's return, and Felicity still isn't sure she's had enough time. She's waiting to see how this conversation turns out.

"I'm glad you're here," Oliver says, pulling on his t-shirt. "I thought about what you said—"

"We don't have to talk about that."

Felicity doesn't entirely regret what she said, but she feels badly about it anyway. She knows she hurt Oliver. It was necessary, but it's been eating at her ever since.

"No," Oliver agrees, "but there's something I need to say."

"Don't." Felicity doesn't want to hear his rationale, or that he still loves her, or any of it.

"I listened to you," Oliver says. "I need you to listen to me."

He's giving her the chance to back out now, but Felicity has never been able to say no when he needs her.

"Fine," she says. "You won't change my mind."

Oliver shakes his head sadly. "I don't expect to. I just want us to understand each other."

Felicity nods for him to continue.

Oliver takes a step closer to her, but keeps a good distance between them. "I said two things to you before I left. You hose to only remember the second."

Felicity shakes her head. "I remember it all."

Oliver takes another step. "Then you know why I have to do this. You know I'd do anything to protect my sister, and don't think I haven't tried to find another way. I _never _wanted this."

"I know. I can't support it, but I know why you're doing it."

Oliver smiles, but it's not a real smile. "A friend of mine told me I would have to give up whatever was most precious to me in order to beat Ra's al Gul."

Felicity laughs humorlessly. "Sounds like a crappy friend."

Oliver shrugs. "Well, she never liked me, but she saved my life, so that counts for something."

Felicity wants to ask for that story, but she's not sure she can handle it right now. The memory of Oliver's "death" is too fresh. Instead, she gets back to the main issue.

"Oliver, you know Merlyn is the reason you have this problem in the first place."

He nods. "I know. That's why I need you here. I don't expect to turn him into a good person by being around him. I'm more concerned the opposite will happen. But I've always been better with you around. In some ways, I need you to disagree with me on this. I need you to keep me honest."

Felicity nods and takes her first step toward Oliver. "I guess I can do that," she says. "Don't think I'm gonna make it easy on you."

Oliver's smile is real this time. "I should hope not."

"You know this doesn't change anything for us."

"I know. I can't be two people, and you deserve better than that."

"I never told you, but... I love the person you are when you're with me."

She knows it doesn't fix anything. It doesn't make their problems go away. They still can't be together, and maybe they never will be. But Oliver deserves to know.

Still, there's a strange look in his eyes as she says it. It's not hope, but more like closure. As if he wasn't sure she loved him until she said so.

Oliver closes the gap between them, and Felicity is viscerally reminded of how much she's missed this. How her heart ached in her chest at the thought that he was gone forever and she would never stand in front of him, looking up into his cool, blue eyes.

"It won't always be this way," Oliver says softly. "I'd never ask you to wait for me; I know that's not fair."

"Ask me anyway," Felicity says before her rational mind can stop her.

"What?" Oliver looks genuinely shocked.

"I waited when you were dead, and I'd say you being alive definitely improves our still negligible chances at ever being together. I mean, it's a long shot, but—"

"Felicity," he interrupts her, and there's a deep sadness in her eyes. "I can't."

"Why not? You want to. I'm practically doing it anyway."

"Because I've been through this before, and it doesn't work. It'll just make us resent each other, and I'd rather never be with you than lose you completely."

Oliver must realize that when he says things like this, he makes her love him even more. But he's right. They can't promise each other anything, and it wouldn't be fair to try.

"Okay," Felicity says. "If you're going to be logical about it."

"I'm trying."

The way Oliver looks at her sends shivers through Felicity's body. She said she didn't want him to love her, but that isn't true. She needs to take a step back now before she does something stupid, but she doesn't want to be away from him. She's been there, done that for a month; she never wants to go through it again.

"Oliver..." Felicity doesn't know where she's going with this sentence; she just wants to say his name.

"Felicity," he replies, bringing his hand up to brush the side of her face with the tips of his fingers.

She remembers how this feels, the way his touch lingers on her skin long after he's gone. Her mind goes back to the hospital corridor and the one kiss she'll never forget. Oliver has the same expression he wore then, that desperate resignation. This hurts him too, and there's nothing either of them can do to change that.

Felicity puts her hand on his chest and feels his heart beating rapidly. This is it—the closest they will ever be. They both drop their hands simultaneously, as if agreeing that the moment is over.

"Guess I should get to work," Felicity says in a husky voice. "Find some bad guys for you to catch."

She moves past Oliver toward her chair, and doesn't have the heart to look back at him. She can't change her mind now. They've made this decision, and now they will have to live with it.

That will be the hard part.

* * *

**I had to. There was no other way for this to come out that was remotely happy. I'm not sorry. Still, let me know what you think, even if it's just to rant about Oliver and Felicity not being together. I ship them so much, and 3.12 took a bit of my soul there at the end. Okay, done talking...**


End file.
